Thursday, July 13, 2006

Worst Sea-Men Jokes Revealed!

For anyone who missed this part of HAM-stravaganza, or for those who did witness it and would like to once again revel in its sordid glory, we present to you the jokes that YOU, the attendees of HAM-stravaganza, submitted to the "Worst Sea-Men Jokes" inbox (which I guess makes this the outbox...).

In no particular order...

Q: What did the pirate say to the guy who closed his hand in the freezer?
A: Arrrrgh... shiver me finger!

Q: Did you see that movie about the Pirates?
A: It was rated Arrrgh!

Your mother is so ugly that when the pirates came to rape and pillage her village that had to use two eye patches.

Q: How is a pirate ship like Paris Hilton?
A: Both are full of "seamen."

Q: What's the difference between a Jewish-American princess and the Bermuda Triangle?
A: The Bermuda Triangle swallows sea-men!

Q: What do you get when you cross a pirate and a pedophile?
A: Arrrgh Kelly

Q: Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party?
A: He was looking for a tight seal. Arrgh.

187 seamen walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The seamen say, "Why not?" The bartender says, "Our beer already has enough head." Arrrgh.

Q: Why did the pirate buy so much corn?
A: It was a buck-an-ear.

YER MOM!! xoxo The Scurvy Pirates [drawn figures of human anatomy]

Q: What is a pirate's favorite pattern?
A: Arrrrrgyle!!!!

Scot DiPerna is a bigtime prick!

Q: What subway did we take here?
A: The oooneee.

Yes, it's really more of a poopbox than an outbox, but we did ask you for your worst. Though judging by the crowd, I doubt "the best" would have been much better.

Anyway, if you didn't get to submit your pirate jokes, didn't attend, or just plum forgot 'em, here's your chance to add to the shitpile! Post your jokes into that graveyard of bad ideas known as the "comments section." We'll be sure to ignore them like everyone else as they languish away in obscurity.

Have a blast!


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